#81653
xanderx
Participant
    @xanderx
Dewolf;60554 wrote:
I work in a seriously stuffy/judgmental industry so far as tattoos go – I’m a lawyer – and having any visible tattoos while I’m working would be a serious issue. However, I’ve got 2 pretty large shoulder caps which, unless my boss comes with me to the gym:eek:, I can always cover, even with T-shirts. To be honest, I’m always surprised how may people come out and admit having tattoos when I tell them I’ve got some.

As for the wife, I’m not sure what to advise there. Why not get a fake one put on in the area you’d like one, surprise her with it and gage her reaction. She might see it and decide she likes it…or she might hit you, but, on the plus side, that it likely to be less painful than getting a tattoo done!! 😀

Haha! I actually did try this! (well, close to the idea at least)… I bought a bunch of temp tattoos and put on some them before she got home one day… problem there is that these fake ones are so obviously fake (she’s not that stupid :p)… anyway thanks for the advise, i wonder if maybe there is some real ink that can be used that would make it look like a real one…


well-begun is half-done!
#81655
xanderx
Participant
    @xanderx
ontwo;60561 wrote:
Soooo you can have pierced ears in your job, but a nonvisible tattoo is not allowed???? WTF

pierced ears, yes. earrings on guys, no. claro? anyway thanks for the reply


well-begun is half-done!
#81656
xanderx
Participant
    @xanderx
closetfreak;60567 wrote:
Sorry to hear about your situation. I admire you for respecting your wife’s desires, and not bad-mouthing her on here because of them. With that said though, I do believe you should fight for what you want (figuratively speaking). I think sometimes people forget how short life is…and you only get one! So keep talking with her about it…try a compromise rather than letting her just saying no flat out. Maybe there is something she has been wanting to get/to do that you haven’t wanted her to? Just a thought…

Also, I’m a corporate auditor, so tattoos aren’t really acceptable in my line of work either (people are usually shocked that I have tattoos, and that I had piercings in college…I guess auditors are just “supposed” to be conservative). So far I have 4 and I’m about to get another fairly large one one my hip. All can be easily hidden by clothing, except for the one on the top of my foot. During interviews, I wear pants, and cover it up with a large bandaid and hose and no one has ever noticed :p

As for your family being conservative, mine too. My mom seriously thought the devil had a hold of me when I got my tongue pierced at 18. She cried. I come from a Christian family (“your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit…so glorify God in your body”), so it was frowned upon, to say the least. When I got my first tattoo, she had much the same reaction. But you know what? Since then I’ve had an eyebrow and vertical hood piercing and 3 additional tattoos, and she’s over it. It’s a non-issue. She still loves me, and has given up on keeping me from getting tattoos. Unless you truly believe that your families would disown you forever, I don’t think you should let them be a deciding factor whatsoever, IMHO. They love you for who you are inside, not for your external appearance….hopefully…lol 😀

Hopefully you’re wife will reconsider and come through for you soon!

thanks for the reply! this was really inspiring 🙂


well-begun is half-done!
#81657
xanderx
Participant
    @xanderx
KnightHawk;60570 wrote:
*points up at closetfreak for truth*

On the bright side, her cuntitude has prevented you from getting a bad 90’s, Red Hot Chili Pepper inspired tattoo that’d be hard to cover up.

Though if you want my opinion, and even if ya don’t, it sounds to me like you’re making excuses. Yes, your wife should have some input on what you put on your body. I mean, every once an a while, the chick is gonna have to handle your balls, so that makes it her business.

But the way you’re phrasing it puts all the blame on her, as if you have no volition of your own. You’re using her to absolve yourself of the responsibility of your choice. The fact she won’t even give you an inch on it is what makes her a cunt–the fact that you’re putting it all on her is what makes you a pussy. If you want to do it, do it. If you don’t for her sake, stand up and say so. Either way, stop whining because that’s bitchtastic.

As for your job and family, that’s also an excuse. Unless you get visible ink, which for a dude basically means hands and faces, spots even hardcore tattoo enthusiasts don’t get them very often, they won’t never know unless you TELL them. You keep your mouth shut because you got to make a living and you’re a professional even if they ain’t. As for you’re family, they’re basically stuck with you.

Or, you could deal with it like Sherav did, by being confrontational but intelligent and professional at the same time.

Seriously, I’ve wasted too much time with this, but dammit, the way you’re refusing to sack up and take responsibility for your choice not to get inked is annoying the hell out of me for some reason.

Love. Peace. Metallica.

Thanks for the reply… and sorry if it annoyed you! 😀


well-begun is half-done!
#81658
xanderx
Participant
    @xanderx

Thanks for all the opinons!

I knew I was in for some nasty comments but still thanks anyway for bothering! 😀

If there’s one thing that I wanted to add, it’s that I absolutely love and adore my wife. 🙂 She is the most beautiful and wonderful that every happened to my life.

..and on that basis alone I would usually let her get her way on these ‘small’ stuff. There are so much more wonderfully great things that she does for me and my life so I cannot risk it by putting my foot down on this one. Again, you might not agree, but that is me and this is my fucking life. 😀

Cheers to everyone!


well-begun is half-done!
#81659
gnarly
Participant
    @gnarly

Well, welcome to the forum.
I’m sorry your wife is so opposed to the idea of you getting a tattoo, maybe with some persistence she will understand how important it would be to you, and give in.
I’m not going to comment on the dynamics of your relationship, because it’s not my place.

#81662
KnightHawk
Participant
    @knighthawk
Quote:
There are so much more wonderfully great things that she does for me and my life so I cannot risk it by putting my foot down on this one. Again, you might not agree, but that is me and this is my fucking life.

As the saying goes, you know what the difference between someone with a tattoo, and someone who doesn’t? The person with ink doesn’t care that you don’t.

Honestly, it’s cool you’re deciding not to get ink man–no one here will tell you different. Just don’t be such a puss about it.

Though, FYI, if she’d really, honestly, 100% leave you over you getting a tattoo, your marriage is too damn shaky anyway, and she don’t love you. So either a) you’re right, she’s wonderful and loves you and would never leave you over this, so therefore you’re STILL using her as an excuse, which makes you too much of a bitch to stand up for your own decisions, or B) your marriage sucks. For the record, I’m betting on “A” personally.

All I’m saying is stop laying the blame on her because it ain’t fair to her, and displays an inability to sack up and be responsible for what you decide.

Love. Peace. Metallica.

#81668
Outlaw
Participant
    @outlaw

i think i shall sit on the fence and get ready to watch the firework display now that KH has lit the little blue touch paper :p


.
IF YOU ARE A NEW MEMBER THEN CLICK HERE and introduce yourself out of courtesy
this is a community for interacting not just an index search system for frequently asked questions in the tattoo world….
#81703
Joker1
Participant
    @joker1

You’ve got a way with words KH, you seem to verbally mind-fuck someone with ease!

#81733
Asenath83
Participant
    @asenath83

I sorta agree with KH.

As I have told someone else here before, tolerance needs to go both ways, otherwise something’s fishy.
So either she really is so totally against tattoos and ignores that it’s an important thing to the OP… or he hasn’t really dared to make it obvious how important it really is to him. From his posts I would assume the latter to be the case, too.

And yeah, the fact that Matthew (Sherav) is now sporting an impressive collection of ink (his backstory seems similar to yours) proves that you can get tattoos against all odds, without being thrown out by your wife and sacked for it.

#81946
xanderx
Participant
    @xanderx
Bdubbs;60574 wrote:
This reminds me about 5-8 years ago when I wanted a tattoo on my forearm. My wife said “NO, everyone will see it, and what about if you switch jobs?”. Well the point is I want everyone to see it!

My bother has two full sleeves and my other brother has a 3/4 sleeve. I would point out to her that its no big deal. Who cares what others think. Her family is very old school/traditional.

LOL, she knows I eventually get my way, and she says “well your going to do what you want anyways”. Now I’m in the process of finishing off my two sleeves! 🙂 And she likes them! Now she has the tattoo bug, as she has a big one on her rib cage, and shes getting ready to do the other side!

It seems like the ones you want can be covered up with clothing, just keep pushing her a bit, maybe eventually she’ll want one to!

Thanks for the reply.

Man I am so envious! I loooove your tats! I may have changed my mind on the design I want (when that time comes), the one on your left arm is awesome… 😮


well-begun is half-done!
#81949
xanderx
Participant
    @xanderx
KnightHawk;60664 wrote:
Though, FYI, if she’d really, honestly, 100% leave you over you getting a tattoo, your marriage is too damn shaky anyway, and she don’t love you. So either a) you’re right, she’s wonderful and loves you and would never leave you over this, so therefore you’re STILL using her as an excuse, which makes you too much of a bitch to stand up for your own decisions, or B) your marriage sucks. For the record, I’m betting on “A” personally.

All I’m saying is stop laying the blame on her because it ain’t fair to her, and displays an inability to sack up and be responsible for what you decide.

I hate to engage in this tussle because English is not even my first language and I think mine is really poor, so i might lose on the basis of technicality and inability to express myself correctly. But I figured your effort to ponder and comment on my situation warrants some reciprocation from my end.

First of all, I have a great marriage. 🙂
I’m not sure (and I really don’t care much) if you are or were married at some point in your life, but in case you are, then you’ve probably heard of the word ‘compromise’. You cannot insist on something she is strongly against just because you like it so much. You discuss things and agree on what path to take. And depending on the matter at hand you will decide how much effort or time you will spend arguing about it.

It so happens that I think my dream of getting inked is not worth it, so I will let her have her way. Maybe someday I will decide that it matters more and will engage her more seriously when that time comes. But still I will not do it without her blessing. You call it ‘not standing up for my decision’, I call it ‘respecting hers’. We are different, as you may probably figured-out by now.

If you still think that that is using her my excuse, then think what you want. I could care less. I looked up some of your recent posts and it looks like you just like to argue and get on people’s nerves. So that makes me care much much less about what you say. 😀

Anyway, thanks for forcing me to practice my English more. Have a good life sir.


well-begun is half-done!
#81956
Sherav
Participant
    @sherav

Hi

I followed the thread with interest. To be honest your decision is sensible one in regards that with every action is a consequence.

For myself many of my family members and former ‘friends’ within the Jewish community have ceased to associate with me because of my tattoos.

The subject is simply too taboo for them to get their head around and it makes them feel uncomfortable that I am different or more to the point desire to be different.

However I persevered with my actions and held my opinions when my elders were berating me with shit like ‘how can you do this!’ ‘destroyed what g-d gave you’ ‘the shame you have brought on us oi vey’ etc etc.

The fact is that I still go round 1-2 a week (they live in sheltered housing so imagine a group of 10+ of opinionated and religious crew) and make them drinks, bring them cakes, but most importantly I sit and listen to whatever they want to say and listen about families and their health probs and good memories.

They make a point of stating they hate my ink but many have gradually just chosen to ignore the fact I have them and I don’t flaunt them.

Those that do not want to associate with me over something as superficial as surface opinion hurts but i made the choice and I am happy to live with it.

As for my wife I do not compromise I give in 99% of the time as I worship the ground she walks on. Of course we argue but there is no other woman for me and she knows this.

My wife is Israeli she loathes tattoos and threatened to divorce me if I ever got one. The fact my first was her portrait softened the blow but she tells me daily she don’t like my ink.

That said she still loves me and respects the fact it is something I feel compelled to do and frankly it makes me happy.

Yes it is hard to have her disapproval and the initial hurt but our relationship is deeper than that.

If you come to a point where you feel you want ink then explain to your family your reasons and why you intend to do it.

You would be suprised at how accepting ppl can be and for those who cannot accept let them go their own way.

Take Care
Matthew


The only difference between a person with tattoos, and a person without is this. The person with tattoos does not care if you do not have any.
#81997
xanderx
Participant
    @xanderx
Sherav;61002 wrote:
My wife is Israeli she loathes tattoos and threatened to divorce me if I ever got one. The fact my first was her portrait softened the blow but she tells me daily she don’t like my ink.

Thanks for the reply Matthew, really inspiring to hear your story. As of yet, I really am not ready to suffer the same kind of alienation from my wife or family. As i keep on saying, maybe someday I will be. Here’s hoping this forum still exists when I get mine. 😀

Just curious though, basing from the above quote, how did you tell her you had yours done? Did you just show-up one day and ‘voila’ you had it, no taking it back. Or did you tell her before going to the shop? Or did she come with you?

I just started reading your blog by the way. Very useful/informative stuff you got there. I for one appreciate the effort you’ve put in to keep people in the know on the do’s and dont’s, myths and facts. Keep it up and more power to you, your wife and your family.

Cheers.
Xander


well-begun is half-done!
#82033
Callie martinez
Participant
    @callie-martinez

I thought I never date a guy with tattoos but my husband has 5 and he is getting 2 more I think eventually and I love them. I think if you talked to her more she might change her mind. To be honest if you never get it you might regret it in the long one. Plus you can always put the tattoo where no one will see it at work I got my tattoo on my foot so it is so easy to hide and shae with everybody. My next tattoo is going to be a shoulder blade tattoo or a hip tattoo both those you can hide to.

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