Granted. Walking down Vine Street on a trip to Cincinnati, a brother rolls up on you and compliments you on your ink. Y’all get to talking, and he mentions he’s a tattoo artist. Taking a shine to you, he offers to give you a free piece, and you jump at the offer. Following him down into his basement level apartment in a building first constructed, and possibly maintained, in 1908, he sits you down in a kitchen chair. Nervously, you watch him bust his tattoo gun out from under his sink, loads up the ink out of what appears to be an old mustards bottle, and sets to work.
When he’s finished, he offers to give you another free piece whenever you want it.
You get arm herpes, and hep C. You die before you can claim another free piece.
I wish I had a job which grants me enough disposable income to get my next tattoo soon and at my normal shop with the artist who does all of my work.
Love. Peace. Metallica.
(You see, I was going to put in my “normal artist” constraint as well…but I decided to let you have some fun)
Granted.
You now work as a janitor in a hospital.
After recieving your ink; you head to work the next day.
A patient who’s bloodwork tested positive for HIV has a horrendous bloody-stool mess all over the bathroom.
As you’re cleaning…a drip falls from the cieling…and lands on your fresh ink.
I wish Radeo Suicide would move to my town and insist upon being my intimate lover.
Granted… But as Radeo Suicide moves to your neighbor hood, following his un-known Voodoo spell of lust you posed upon him. He runs across a Witch Doctor that breaks the spell free, as you run into his house you are amazed at his decision to become totally and errevokably gay. Poisened and sickened by his now heart crushing blow he delt upon you, You run stead fast and leap from his 10th story apartment Window.
I wish I could Tattoo what I really think of a client on a client???lol
granted
after looking throw all the car ad’s you finally find a new van at a price you can afford . you go to meet the shady ghetto guys and buy the van.
later that night while your driving home singing along to whitey the police shoot out your tires then drag you to the floor because the van was used in a murder last week and you end up in jail and become a well hung black guys bitch ….. and he is horny every night 😀
I wish i had a ghost in my house
Granted
Except that the ghost was an absolute geek for the exorcist films and is determined to bring these skills into the afterlife.
Their particular skills are writing obscene messages (from the scripts of the films) in tea leaves across the kitchen floor such as ‘Your mother sucks cocks in hell’, twisting their head round and puking weetabix and yoghurt mix on you, and finally pissing ectoplasm on your new carpets.
Sadly one day the ghost pisses on the stairs causing you to slip in the slime and breaking your neck – causing you to be trapped with this nutty ghost for eternity.
I wish I could get away with murdering my colleagues.
Take Care
Matthew
I wish i could tattoo what i really think of a client on a client???lol
radeo is female
Take Care
Matthew
Granted, but on the eve of the inevitable zombie apocalypse, you hear a knock, knock, knocking on your doors as graved addled, yet somehow familiar voices call out your name…
I wish we could give Buzzkill another go around.
Love. Peace. Metallica.
Granted…
But the next round of Buzzkill is overflowing with superbly convoluted answers littered with bad spelling and grammar causing you to bash your head into the screen of your laptop resulting in, not death but a psuedo mentally retarded state that causes you to rock back and forth repeating “buzzkill” over and over while I patiently wipe the drool from the corner of your mouth.
I wish a was a scary smart evil genius…
Granted….
But you begin to get greedy with your new found powers. You then discover a way to surgically remove your own ribs. You spend the rest of your days sucking your own cock. During the autopsy, nothing but seman and pubic hair are found in your stomach.
I wish I had a harem….
Patrick
But you begin to greedy with your new found powers. You then discover a way to surgically remove your own ribs. You spend the rest of your days sucking your own cock. During the autopsy, nothing but seman and pubic hair are found in your stomach.
I wish I had a concubine….
Um, I’m a girl dude- therefore I have not cock attached to me…
Granted but you find that you are in fact the harem guard and have to become a eunuch which means having your nuts crushed with 2 bricks and sloppy remains cut off and cauterised.
I wish I could lose 3 stone in weight…
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