January 8, 2010 at 9:55 pm #32403
KnightHawk
Participant
@knighthawk

All righty then, let’s play Buzzkill. The way this works is: one poster wishes for something, then next poster grants it but ruins it, and then they wish for something.

example:

KnightHawk: I wish I had a cold margarita.

Sherav: Granted, but it’s laced with Roophies, allowing Peachiepoo to violate you anally.
I wish for a rocket powered couch.

Buttfly_Kisses: Granted, but you fly through your living room wall and break all your limbs. I wish….

I’ll start:

I wish I won the lottery.

Love. Peace. Metallica.

January 8, 2010 at 10:04 pm #79198
Sherav
Participant
@sherav

Lets play!

Granted but following a stock exchange crash straight after you cash your ticket the value of your money is worth less than a rotting dog turd. This occurs after you gave the middle finger to your job and family saying see-ya later suckers i’m rich!

I wish I had 12 months off work…

Matthew

January 8, 2010 at 10:30 pm #79203
dine
Participant
@dine

Granted;

But on your first day off, to celebrate, you do a bungee jump and the cord snaps which leaves you with several broken bones and the prognoses is you will be in traction for a year….

I wish I could go to South Africa for the world cup.

January 8, 2010 at 10:36 pm #79204
Ross_W
Participant
@ross_w

granted, but during the game, a riot breaks out and you are left mentally handicapped after being punched and kicked in the head numerous times.

I wish i could go into space.

January 8, 2010 at 10:55 pm #79208
vizzielover
Participant
@vizzielover

Granted……..

However, the first time you have a chance to send a message to your loved ones from the depths of space, it begins like this “Houston, we have a problem……….”

I want to be 21 again (and know what I know now)

January 9, 2010 at 10:55 am #79220
Butterfly
Participant
@butterfly-2

Granted

but its in dog years which now makes you a wopping 147 and you live in a nursing home . You wet the bed and have no teeth 😀

I wish i owned my own petting zoo

January 9, 2010 at 2:33 pm #79243
eatatjerms
Participant
@eatatjerms

Granted, but it’s for snakes only and people keep getting bitten. You wind up with million dollar lawsuits left and right and lose everything.

I wish for a new computer.

January 10, 2010 at 3:16 pm #79334
ChaosDani
Participant
@chaosdani

Granted, but it looks like this:
oldcomputer.jpg

Hey, its new to you.

I wish I was a circus performer.

January 10, 2010 at 8:18 pm #79355
vizzielover
Participant
@vizzielover

Granted

The only opening was for an elephant trainer, that is ok but one of the big buggers shit on your head giving you a serious concussion and leading credence to the saying ‘Been shit on from a great height!’

I wish I could fly

January 10, 2010 at 11:13 pm #79365
Chief D
Participant
@chief-d

Granted, but in a genius move Al Qaeda recruits you for Jihad. You end up covered in c-4 when you fly into the White House. The weapons defense systems fail to identify a flying dumb ass as a threat. The resulting explosion kills you and destroys half of Pennsylvania avenue, but leaves the President unharmed as he is in Hawaii on Vacation.

I wish I found the Lost Ark! 😀

January 11, 2010 at 4:06 pm #79410
KnightHawk
Participant
@knighthawk

Granted, however, when you open it, rather than finding the tablets holding the original ten commandments, or even a horde of face melting ghosts, you find a t-shirt.

On the front, it has the text “There are two people fucking on the back of this shirt”. On the back, it has a picture of a grinning Christ saying “Just kidding, Jesus loves you!”

I wish zombies did not, in fact, exist.

Love. Peace. Metallica.

January 11, 2010 at 4:27 pm #79413
PsychoticInk
Participant
@psychoticink

Granted… And as you walk along the desalent beach you find that only Lesbian Midgets have surcomed to the Zombie Virus, leaving you only 1 chioce. While making mad sex with your new found Lesbian Midget Zombie friend she reaches down with her head painfully bites off your man stick leaving only a stump of who you were. Now you are a Zombie w/o a weenie.

I wish I could find a Lesbian Midget that likes to play with Dead Puppies!

January 11, 2010 at 9:44 pm #79434
Sherav
Participant
@sherav

Granted

But the lesbian midget is only interested in necrophilliac ‘puppy love’ for which she sells her disgusting story to the gutter press citing you as the pimp ring leader.

You are found guilty for crimes against humanity and sentenced to 30-life with a the 20 stone arsonist-murderer with a twinkle in their eye for yours truly as a cellmate. :p

I wish I could rule the world.

Matthew

January 12, 2010 at 1:42 am #79471
MissP83
Participant
@missp83

granted.

however, as you come to rule, the world enters its apocolypse, leaving you to watch everything you own and rule crumble to pieces and burn to merely ash, and then swallowed by the great flood.

i wish i could be the next bill gates.

January 12, 2010 at 1:47 am #79472
Jubakuba
Participant
@jubakuba

Granted.
But you shall first sign a contract to donate 96% of your income to charities.

I wish I could get free tattoos for life.

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