Hi all —
Last night, my boyfriend proposed. Before I could accept, he told me that to be in his family, I’d have to get a tattoo to match one he has on his hand. I definitely don’t have a problem getting the tattoo (I have three others of my own) but he’s being pretty secretive about the meaning of this one. I work in a mainstream job where I have to meet the public. My boss doesn’t mind small tattoos, but I wanted to make sure that no one would take offense to this one (I need my job). It’s a small black cross between the index and thumb on his left hand (I’d have to get mine in the same place) with three lines radiating out above it. I did some research online and it looks sort of like the pachuco cross, but I don’t think my boyfriend has ever been in a gang (which is what the internet is saying is the meaning of that particular design). Anybody have any ideas of what this could be? I wouldn’t worry except that my boyfriend wouldn’t tell me what it meant and he acted sort of odd when I asked.
Thanks in advance for any replies!
Blessings,
SavageAngel
His sister doesn’t, but his brothers do and his mom and dad. According to him, his sister will have to have it done when she marries but she’s okay without until then. I don’t want to lose my boyfriend but I think you’re right – something really strange is going on.
Thank you so much for the reply.
Hi
Tell him to jog on
I have come from a family that all had gang/family affiliated tattoos and I refused because as far as I am concerned the first thing that happens is
1. The police know who to pick on even if you are not doing anything wrong.
2. The public are not dumb and will know/suspect it is gang related and won’t want to deal with you.
Also have to ask where exactly does the matter end with the ‘you must do this before we get married’?
Is your b/f too much of a pussy to tell his family to shove it up their arse? My response was to mine try and make me and you will be spitting out teeth at the most minor or dead at worst.
It is your life and your body and to be frank I am 32 and on my second marriage – if it fails you are left with a scar or shitty gang ink on your hand.
Also I heard all the but we have to be a family and it is our heritage bullshit argument before – gang tattoos are about control – once in never out with little fringe benefits. The ink did not stop them from getting shot or serving 20.
That is why he is too scared to tell you the truth on it.
I would think carefully about the whole marriage if that is the sort of demands been made.
Take Care
Matthew
Hi back,
Thank you so much for the reply. I guess I knew something was wrong … I just didn’t want to believe it. I knew people here would tell me the truth. Too bad my boyfriend won’t. I tried talking to him again after I posted here but he was still really shady about the whole thing. I love him, but I’m not willing to sign my life away to him and start doing things just because he says so. That’s not who I am at all – or who I want to be.
Thanks again for your input. I think you’re exactly correct in everything you’ve said.
Sincerely,
Sarah
I agree with Sherav, I wouldn’t bother with him.
Sounds like a pretty crappy stunt he’s trying to pull, and tattoos on the hands are a definite no-no when looking for a job (where I’m from anyway).
If he loved you and wanted to marry you for who you are, why would it matter if you didn’t have some stupid gang-affiliated mark on your hand.
Thank you all so much. I wish I could express how much your comments and your support mean to me. I think I’m about to have a difficult time of it, but knowing that I’m not alone in thinking that something strange is going on helps tremendously. I know who I can trust to be straight with me and, unfortunately, it isn’t my boyfriend.
With sincere thanks,
Sarah
Ditch him. I spent twenty years of my life in gangs and I’ll tell you that if you get that tattoo, and if you enter into that relationship you will regret it forever. There are many more men out there, many of them like tattoos and many of them will like tattoos and treat you right. Wait for him. Leave the gang banger.
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